I went to that rodeo, and met my soul mate, a friend of a friend so to speak.  See, we all got to rodeo and realized that their boyfriends had brought a friend.  Suddenly it was decided that instead of babysitting the niece, I needed to entertain this guy so my friends could have time alone with their boyfriends.  Wanting to be helpful and a good friend, I agreed.  But, when I saw this guy, I secretly wondered "girl what are you thinking!"

 

Standing six foot one, covered in tattoos, a black baseball cap, dark glasses, and a black gotee was this guy that I was supposed to "entertain".  Honestly, he scared the daylights out of me.  A picture of everything you don't want to take home to mom and dad, or in my case, granny and grandpa.  He didn't look like some clean cut, well mannered, church boy.  Perhaps a member of a biker gang, but definately not a church boy.  He had "bad boy" written all over him!

 

But, I had made a promise and I intended to keep it.  As we took our seats, I introduced myself and offered him a cigarette.  And as that night wore on, I grew to like this odd looking guy. He was polite, kind, and very respectful.  His eyes held a mystery that I could get lost in, and his smile made me forget my pain and feel at ease.  He also did something else very special for me that night, under the light of the moon and stars, standing by a large lake...he looked straight into my eyes and said "Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful".  I had never heard those words until that night.  Never felt truely happy or really wanted until that night.  I was hooked, I just had to keep seeing this guy.  Something inside me kept telling me to not let this one get away, he was one in a million and definately sent from God. It hadn't occured to me what reaction I would get if I ever took him home to meet the family.

 

We began dating the next day.  And he began learning about my home life.  Within two weeks, my home life was so out of control that I knew I had to do something or go crazy one.  So, on a Wednesday night, while my grandparents were at church, I ran away from home and became a listed missing person for the next six weeks!

 

I had ran off with my soul mate.  Someone sent from God to rescue and protect me, my own earthly knight in shinging armor.  As the weeks went by, I fell more and more in love with this man.  And opened my heart and soul to him.  I told him of my past, everything in my past.  Not once did he criticize or judge me, and when my nightmares returned, it was his arms that I found myself in, it was his voice I heard promising me that I never had to be scared again.  Never again would anyone hurt me the way members of my own family had.  He also taught me acceptance of the real me, the girl that hid behind the make up, wonder bra, and fancy clothes.  After those six weeks, I decided to return home, a stronger person and take care of some loose ends.  I had ties at home that I needed to cut, and good-byes that I needed to say.  Reluctantly, I went home and introduced this man to my family.  Of course they didn't accept him.  And naturally, my grandfather tried to ruin it by telling him about my past sexual abuse and the fact I couldn't bear children.  But, this time, it was my grandfather that got the shock.  This man told my grandpa, "yes sir, I know about her past and she told me that she can't have children.  But, well, I love her anyways and I intend to marry your granddaughter."  And three weeks later, that's exactly what he did!

 

I also had another surprise.  By the end of that December, I learned that I was going to have a baby!  Not only had God removed me from my abuse and showed me love, he had also granted my hearts true desire with a baby.  The following July, I gave birth to my oldest son.  And within seventeen months, was blessed with yet another son.  However, I was not living my life for God.  I was not witnessing to others, I was not attending church, and I was not sharing my testimony.  No, I was going on about my way, not really thinking about the blessings that God was now giving me.  But, all of that would change with the summer of 2001 when God put me in a position to talk to me and got me to listen to what he had to say.

 

I handed my son to my husband and told him I needed to go outside and have a cigarette.  I walked outside that hospital and sat down on a bench to smoke.  The smoking area was empty that day, and the sun was shining.  I sat there smoking and began pouring my heart and soul out to God.  I told God that I had entrusted November into his keeping, but that I really wanted to keep my boys and raise them.  I told him that I didn't want my baby to die, that doctors couldn't help him, but that I knew he could intervene.  I told the lord that I would do anything he wanted me to do, go anywhere he wanted me to go, if he would just save my little boy's life.  For two hours I sat there crying my heart out to God.  Sitting there on that bench, using my love for my son, God called me to do his work.  And I will never forget the events that followed that prayer.

 

I was a very shy and quiet person.  I didn't know anyone else at that hospital except my son and my husband.  And this hospital was in a really big city.  I realized that I had been outside way longer than I should have been, so I dried my eyes and headed back into the hospital.  It was then that God put me to the test, was I sincere in what I had told him?  Would I really do anything he asked me to do to save my son's life?  I wasn't really sure anymore what the voice of God sounded like.  And it took me a bit to realize that he was talking to me!  See, walking back into that hospital, I passed an older lady with brown hair and glasses, probably in her early fifties.  Beside her on a bench sat a Bible.  It was the Bible that caught my eye as I thought to myself, "that lady is a Christian".  As I passed her, I heard this voice say "stop and ask that woman to pray for your son".  Huh?  I didn't know this woman!  I had been stuck at this hospital for about a week without so much as a change of clothes, a hairbrush, or a shower!  With frazzled hair and wrinkled clothes, what would this woman think of me?  I kept walking past her thinking to myself that I had to be out of my mind.  Once again I heard that voice, "go ask that woman to pray for your son".  Twice the lord had spoken to me, but well...I wasn't really sure it was him!  I kept thinking I was loosing my mind, hearing voices that just weren't there.  I continued walking right on into the hospital, and then he got my attention.  I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard that same voice for the third time, only this time, the message was diffrent.  This time, the lord said "IF you want your son to live, go ask that woman to pray for him".  I turned around, walked back out of that hosptial, found my voice and approached this stranger.  I looked at her and said "Mam, I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw your Bible so I know you're a Christian.  I've been here for about a week now with my little boy, he's almost two and upstairs dying.  The doctors don't know what's wrong with him.  And well, God just told me that if I want my son to live to ask you to pray for him.  Will you say a prayer for my little boy?"  She smiled and said she would and I started to walk away.  She stopped me and told me to sit down, we'd pray right then.  I told her my son's name, and she hugged me close to her and the two of us prayed, me pouring tears onto this stranger's shoulder.  When she finished, I was suddenly overpowered by the most amazing sense of peace and tranquility.  I had joy, and reassurance, and she said "now hurry on up to your baby, he needs his momma. And I too must be going to pay a visit to someone".  I went up the elevator and into my son's room. My husband knew something had happened, because I was happy and glowing and insisiting that our baby was going to be fine, I just knew it.  I hadn't even gotten sat down good when a diagnosis for my son was made.  He was going to live!  They knew the treatment, a blood infusion of an adult's immune system would save his life.  I told my husband I'd be right back and ran down stairs.  I just had to tell that woman the good news!  But she wasn't there.  I asked around about her, but no one had seen her.  She hadn't gotten into a car, and she hadn't passed the security desk going to the elevators.  It seemed as though no one but me saw this woman.  I smiled and quietly thanked God.  Somehow, I knew that day that I had been in the presence of an angel. 

 

And I thank God every day for allowing me to have such an experience that would transform my life forever.  With that divine meeting, God knew that his masterpiece was now ready.  That he could speak and I would listen. 

 

In 2002, I created Moms On Mission, the charity site where November's memorial page is located.  God used my own pain to bring across a message of love and of need in this world.  And, just now, he has used me again to do his bidding.  I have told you my testimony.  A testimony meant to show that no matter what, God has a purpose for each and every one of us.  Even you.  You might not know what that purpose is yet, but I assure you, there is one.

 

It's not difficult to find forgiveness for your sins.  Simply repent of the wrong you have done in your life.  Ask the lord to forgive you.  And BELIEVE upon his name.  Tell others about what he's done for you.  Don't ever be ashamed of him.  You are very well the next masterpiece in his collection!